


Hot for Teacher

by Curator



Category: Star Trek: Voyager
Genre: F/M, Gen, Humor, M/M, crackfic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-02
Updated: 2020-12-02
Packaged: 2021-03-10 00:14:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,773
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27841321
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Curator/pseuds/Curator
Summary: It’s part of Chakotay’s service record that he taught at Starfleet Academy. What is not as widely known is who was enrolled in his class.Takes place sometime in season two….
Relationships: Chakotay & Neelix, Chakotay/B'Elanna Torres, Chakotay/Harry Kim, Chakotay/Kathryn Janeway, Chakotay/Tom Paris
Comments: 24
Kudos: 72
Collections: 25 Days of Voyager (2020 Version), To the Journey: Found Family in Star Trek





	Hot for Teacher

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks to cnroth for giggling with me as we brainstormed this delightfully silly concept.

The four senior staff members whispered in a mess hall deserted except for Neelix tidying in the kitchen and themselves on sofas near the door. 

“It’s part of why I joined the Maquis. He had been so inspiring in the classroom that I just had to —”

“And you never told him?”

“No! Did you?”

“No!”

B’Elanna Torres, Tom Paris, Kathryn Janeway, and Harry Kim — they sprung apart at Neelix’s approach. 

“More coffee, Captain?”

She hadn’t been drinking coffee. There was no food or drink to be seen, just four smirking faces. 

“No, thank you, Neelix.”

A silver coffee thermos slid from Neelix’s hand to a low table. “Is there anything I can get you, then? Any of you?”

Tom snorted. “Tutoring!”

His chuckle was contagious. The captain hid her chortle behind her hand, but Harry and B’Elanna didn’t bother, and their open-mouthed guffaws sent Neelix’s head tilting in confusion. 

“I’m, ah, not sure I follow.”

Tom motioned for Neelix to sit. The Talaxian perched next to the captain, and she spoke in low tones. 

“You do know, Neelix, that Commander Chakotay taught at Starfleet Academy for quite some time?”

Neelix nodded. “The officer training school you all attended. He taught tactics, is that correct?”

“That’s right.” Harry leaned forward. “Tactical Scenarios 101 is a required freshman class. It’s huge, Neelix, close to 300 students in a giant auditorium. Chakotay had teaching assistants to grade papers and take attendance. All he had to do was stand in front of the class and tell stories.”

A dreamy look crossed the four officers’ faces. 

“And he was very, very good at it.” B’Elanna grinned. 

Neelix’s eyebrows inched toward each other. “You all .. had the commander as your professor?”

The captain nodded. “Nearly everyone on this ship who went to Starfleet Academy had Professor Chakotay for Tactical Scenarios. I was there for his first semester. I sat in the front row and raised my hand every day but he never once called on me.”

Talaxian ebullience burst out. “What a lovely connection! He must have been thrilled to realize —”

The shushing came from all four officers. 

B’Elanna’s whisper was knife-sharp. “He doesn’t know. And nobody has the heart to tell him.”

“I went to office hours at least once a week.” Harry’s lip curled lasciviously. “He introduced himself on _Voyager_ as if we had never met.”

“I failed a test just so I could go to extra lectures for struggling students.” Tom’s sigh was soft. “Totally worth it.”

“The point is, Neelix,” the captain sat as primly as a schoolgirl, “just about every cadet had a crush on Professor Chakotay. But he only saw a sea of faces in a lecture hall. I thought for sure when I used one of his own tactics against him the moment he beamed into _Voyager’s_ bridge —”

Harry quoted, “‘When an enemy combatant has a weapon and you don’t, try using physicality to control the situation.’”

“He suggested physicality to put the combatant at ease,” Tom’s arms folded, “not to physically step into someone’s personal space so you could —”

The captain’s eyebrow rose. “Can you blame me?”

Identical grins spread across the faces of the other officers. “No.” 

The mess hall door opened and five heads snapped up. 

“I guess I’m not the only one who wanted a midnight snack.” Chakotay nodded toward his friends. “I could use another helping of Neelix’s grade-A apple pie. Anyone want to join me?” 

There were snickers and fingers poked in ribs. _Grade-A._

“Sorry, sir. I’d better turn in.” Harry choked back a chortle as he stood. “To bed. I’d better turn in to bed. Not assignments. Bedtime.”

“Same here.” The captain bit her grinning lips together as she sprung to her feet. “Wouldn’t want to sleep through class — er, duty shift.”

“We’ll be going, too.” B’Elanna pulled Tom to standing. “Goodnight.”

Giggles drifted in until the mess hall door closed behind the four officers. 

Neelix’s hand pressed to his stomach. “What can I get for you, Mr. Chakotay?”

A shy smile brightened the commander’s face. “You can drop the act, Neelix. I know they were talking about me. I know what they were talking about, too, and it’s very flattering.”

“Oh, thank goodness.” Neelix sagged against the sofa cushions. “They think you don’t know and it would be so much easier if you told them.”

“I wouldn’t dream of telling them, Neelix.” Chakotay moved toward the kitchen. 

Neelix followed the commander, who had disappeared under the countertop as he searched for leftovers. “But don’t you think they should know that you remember?”

Chakotay’s head popped up over the counter. “Of course I remember my own birthday. But if they want to throw me a surprise party tomorrow, I’ll pretend to be surprised. Don’t you think that’s best?”

Neelix’s hand pressed to his stomach again. “Yes, Commander. Of course, Commander. A surprise party for your birthday. That’s the big secret around here.”

***

The next morning brought engagement with an enemy ship. There was a standoff, a few phaser volleys, and finally an agreement for Voyager to pass through alien territory. 

“I’d say that was quite successful.” Tom swiveled from the helm. “Much like the tactics that resolved the first Vulcan-Andorian conflict in 2097.”

Tuvok’s eyebrow rose. “How so, Mr. Paris?”

“Well, there’s the negotiation resulting in an exchange. In our case, passage through space. In that conflict, of course, it was transfer of the disputed planetoid. After all, Tuvok, as your pal Surak said, ‘To fight and conquer in battle is not logical; logic is a means to break the enemy's resistance without fighting.’”

Chakotay’s head jerked up from the command computer. “I’m impressed, Paris. I had no idea you were so familiar with tactical thought.”

“Actually,” Harry broke in, “the more apt analogy would be to the Earth-Kzin Wars of the late 21st century, since the Kzinti were permanently defeated with technology, as opposed to logic. There’s a story about the leader of that conflict —”

“Oh, but that’s hardly the extent of things, is it?” The captain’s sharp look toward Harry ended when Chakotay turned to face her, admiration for Harry’s tactical analysis still shining in the commander’s eyes. “Surely there’s a more impressive comparison than that.”

“Really?” Tom’s arms folded. “What might that ‘more impressive comparison’ be?”

The hum of the warp engine filled the bridge. 

“Well,” the captain’s index finger stretched cloth under the four pips on her collar, “perhaps … certainly … that is to say …”

Harry cleared his throat.

Tom grinned, then swiveled to face his station again.

“ _Perhaps_ ,” Tuvok said, “what is best is to return to matters at hand — no casualties and minimal systems damage.”

“Except damage to someone’s ego,” Tom muttered. 

But before the captain could say a word to her helmsman, Chakotay leaned toward her. “You just negotiated our way through fifteen sectors of space. I’d say whatever your tactical inspiration was, it worked.”

Harry’s eyes lowered to his console, his attention seemingly on his work, not the captain's broad smile. 

***

The skirmish, though brief, created more work for everyone, so the bridge crew skipped lunch and packed into a turbolift when relieved for dinner break. 

They entered a darkened and empty mess hall.

“Hello?” Chakotay grinned. “Oh my, why could it be dark and empty in here?”

Before the other officers could reply, the lights clicked on. Neelix jumped up from behind the kitchen counter and officers leapt from behind sofas. “Surprise!”

“What a great surprise!” Chakotay’s exclamation was only a little exaggerated. “I had no idea anyone was planning anything for my birthday!”

B’Elanna strode over with a conical birthday hat and secured the elastic under Chakotay’s chin. Neelix brought a large box covered in bright wrapping paper and said, “The crew pooled replicator rations to get you one, big present, Commander. I hope that’s all right.”

Chakotay’s smile gave the answer — and Neelix’s wink assured the red-faced bridge crew that everything would be fine.

And he was right. The party was full of conversation, an impromptu chorus of former Maquis singing some of Chakotay’s favorite songs, and clear delight on the commander’s face when he unwrapped his gift — a globe of his home planet. 

Only Chakotay and Neelix were left in the mess hall when the commander placed his globe on a table and put his hand out for the morale officer to shake. 

“Thank you, Neelix,” he said. “It was nice of you to put this together.”

“I, ah, hardly did this alone.” Neelix’s fingers grasped the commander’s for the human ritual. “The crew has been planning this for —”

“Neelix.” Chakotay spoke softly. “I didn’t anticipate the commotion on the bridge this morning. I thought you would have time to rally the rest of the crew into helping you plan the party.”

Neelix’s hand went clammy and dropped from the commander’s. 

“There was a famous general on Earth — Sun Tzu.” Chakotay gestured … almost as if he were lecturing to a room packed with cadets. “Sun Tzu gave tactical advice that we all can try to live by, although his idea of ‘the opponent’ can be applied to the self or friends as much as to an enemy.”

“I— I— I—I’m not sure I understand.” Neelix wiped his somewhat sweaty palms on his trousers. 

The commander smiled indulgently. “Sun Tzu wrote, ‘Be extremely subtle, even to the point of formlessness. Be extremely mysterious, even to the point of soundlessness. Thereby you can be the director of the opponent's fate.’ Do you understand, Neelix?”

A furry head shook. 

“The best tactics, Neelix, aren’t about making war. They’re about keeping peace, about controlling your destiny by ensuring the people around you are happy, even if that means they unite over a harmless, perceived secret.”

Neelix’s eyes widened in understanding. 

The commander’s hand found the morale officer’s shoulder. There was a quick squeeze of understanding that the tactics of morale were as important as the tactics of command, and Chakotay turned to pick up his globe.

“Wait,” Neelix said, and the commander turned. “Just so we’re clear. Is your surprise party the only ‘perceived’ secret we’re keeping?”

Chakotay glanced around the empty mess hall, then bent to whisper in the Talaxian’s ear. “Cadet Janeway sat in the front row and always had her hand in the air. Cadet Paris failed a test on purpose. Cadet Kim came to office hours at least once a week, and Cadet Torres never missed a class. But the perceived secret is a lot more fun for them — and great for morale ... isn’t it?” 

A grin split Neelix’s face. “More grade-A apple pie, Commander?” 

“Thanks, Neelix.” Chakotay winked. “You’re a star pupil.”


End file.
